Potter is a bloody Idiot
by thegreenlily
Summary: "Lily?", I asked into the empty room. Usually she would wait until I got home, at least to tell me, what a bloody idiot I was. Of course she didn't just think so because of a mood. I had done something very stupid recently. Something that had not happened for five years now. Yesterday I had forgotten her birthday. Jily-Oneshot


_Hello :)_

_Please don't be too hard on me, English is not my motherlanguege, but I hope it's alright. Just a little impression of living together... Have fun and I you like leave a review :)_

"Potter is a bloody idiot.", I said very unhappy. She had changed our password, because I was - in her opinion - a bloody idiot.

When I came into our living room I was nothing but exhausted. How much could you squeeze into one day? There was a pot of freshly brewed peppermint tea on my half of the desk and a lot of candles and as I pulled my Quidditch shirt over my head I noticed there was even a fire in the chimney. I was freezing!

Training had been more than tiering, my team was a bunch of restless bees so I chased them around the pitch for like two hours to teach them a little discipline. Which I now highly regretted. Damn, I was so tired and it was cold and I was wet and had an ass full of work left to do, not only my very own homework for tomorrow but I also promised Peter to have a quick check on his 'Transfiguration' homework. "Lily?", I asked into the empty room. Usually she would wait until I got home, at least to tell me, what a bloody idiot I was.

Of course she didn't just think so because of a mood. I had done something very stupid recently. Something that had not happened for five years now.

Yesterday I had forgotten her birthday.

It was stupid and I knew it. Even when we had not been dating I never failed to give her a small appreciation like 'how nice that you have been born years ago, so I am able to adore you now'... There had been even flowers usually. But this year, of course, now, that she admitted that I was her boyfriend and now, that we had bloody fucked - damn, I just forgot it. I didn't even see her more than five minutes yesterday! First there was all this school and we had a match with Slytherin and so we had an extra training timed. Then there was Sirius (who had not even said a single bloody word like: You didn't forget your girlfriends birthday, did you?) so when I came home around midnight she was just sitting in our living room.

I would never, never, never ever forget her face in my entire life. Her arms folded, her lips only a very thin line. And still I had not even remembered. She had waited to fight with me... This was our first fight and since then - huh - she ignored me very much. How I had gotten into the living room? Well she had changed the password and waited, so when I tried to open our rooms with our usual password (honeymoon suite - that had been Sirius' idea of course...) she had opened the door with a flick of her wand.

Well. It had been nasty.

"I am in the bathroom."; it came now and after a moment of consideration I went to the half closed door and pushed it open gently.

"Hey.", she was lying in the bathtub, her hair dry and forced into a massive knot on her head, but her face covered with a book.

"Hey.", she gave back coldly. "You are late."

"Quidditch training.", I reminded her. She just nodded and (finally) put down the book to send me a freezing-to-death gaze.

"Are you still mad?", I asked and stripped of my cold and dripping-wet pants. She lowered her eyes to not see me while I stripped off my clothes. We had had sex now three times in the last four weeks. We had seen each other naked more often. I could not understand her blushing, when my dripping wet underwear fell to the floor with a 'thump'. "Because I did not really really forget your birthday, I have a present and a card and I have the promise of a even bigger present next Hogsmeade-Trip, which I have planned for - well - like - forever...", hesitantly I joined her in the tub.

Until now she had not axt-murdered me (which she always accented was her favourite way of killing me one day because I was a bloody idiot...) so I hoped it would be - uh - better now and maybe her wrath had ebbed away. She shivered. "What?", I asked unsure.

"You are cold.", she said without even looking at me properly. That seemed to be the only thing I would get from her. You are late. You are cold. You are an idiot. Obviously her rage had not just ebbed away. No, obviously she had again waited for me to fight.

"Why do you not even give me a chance to apologize for it! I mean... I didn't really forget it, Lily, and I do have a present for you!", I said now a little irritated. She just folded her arms again.

"I don't want a present."; she said angrily.

"So - what is it then you want?", I asked impatiently. No man on this good earth liked to come home to see that his girlfriend had only one reason to stay awake and wait for him - and that would be to fight and make his life even more unbearable. And it was the second time now as well! She sighted. "Lily, look at me and tell me what you want, if not the stupid present I worked on in my spare time the last three months!", I got even more angry now when I figured she only folded her arms so I would not see her breasts.

"An hour of your precious time would have been nice.", her voice was, well, there was not the right word in my vocabulary to describe how hurt and stroppy and furious her voice in my ears rang.

"We had this, Lily.", admittedly my patience had now sunk under 10%. There was not much I could do about it, if she continued about this dangerous topic we would fight even worse. To hide how much her claim had upset me I hid my face in my hands and tried desperately to keep my breath calm.

"I know, but the deal was-"

"The deal was that all my free time belongs to you!", I interrupted her. This was very rude and not my usual way to treat her. She was always allowed to finish her sentences but she had just touched a very raw nerve. "But there is no free time, okay? You are working just as hard as I am, Lily, but you know that I have more classes and duties than anyone else this year!", she snored. Very thin ice...

"You did not even show up for prefects-meeting yesterday! If you had, you would have had a chance to save you from our fight, because they had a cake and a present!", she snapped back and I rolled my eyes. "In fact, nobody I care for missed to show me their love and everybody asked what you gave me and how we would spend our evening and everybody looked at me when you did not even show up at this bloody prefect-meeting! This was one of your duties you just mentioned! Nobody missed to show me their love - except of the only person I really wanted to see yesterday!", the ice cracked.

"I am running every day to have five more minutes for you but I am only a human! I forgot, okay, I just forgot! There. Is. No. More. Time.", she jumped a little and I regretted immediately to have raised my voice.

"But this is not working!", she demanded. "When did you eat last time?", I sighted clearly annoyed.

"Damn, don't give me this shit again!"; I pleaded.

"As your girlfriend I have the right to be concerned if I do not see you at any meals in three days!", she replied angrily. "When was it?"

"Man, I don't remember!", I growled, massaging my temples because my girlfriend was causing me a really bad headache! In four month relationship she had not caused me such an headache! In four years previous adoration (from my side only) she had not caused me such an headache! Damn it, nobody in my entire life had ever caused me such an headache! "Maybe sunday.", I said then because she was still looking at me, expecting a bloody answer. "I did not have the time!"

"You could give some of your stint to Sirius, he can do the Quidditch captain as well.", she said relentless but I just managed a snort.

"Sirius is an irresponsible child.", I said, even though he was my best friend and I loved him like a brother. "And besides, it is not the Quidditch which holds me back from eating, it is more because I have a great deal of work and a lot of homework and all the tests and your constant nagging!", when my mouth closed I could have kicked myself. Never in my entire life I had said such an evil thing to her. "I am sorry."

That had been - urgh - I was a bloody idiot! How could I say something horrible like this to my poor, beautiful girlfriend? How could I lose it so much that I was mean to Lily? "No."; she whispered. I could hear in her voice how much I just had hurt her and dared to look terribly ashamed into her face, but our eyes didn't meet. She was crying now. "No, it's fine.", she said "I knew, one day I would be annoying you.", I sighted.

"Don't think that, Love."; I said worn. It had been a very stupid idea to join her in the bathtub. Groaning I got up, wrapped myself in a towel and managed it with shaking knees out of the water. "I am sorry about what I just said, Lily.", I repeated. "I didn't mean it like that."

"The hell you meant it like that.", she just replied, her voice now numb. I didn't answer this time. I had ruined everything when I just had accused her of nagging on me. Which was not true, she was only and ever concerned, which was more sweet. I couldn't believe what I had done.

Sighting I went upstairs to my own room, got dressed and allowed myself to stare at the stars for a moment. How could I save this? I had not seen her much recently. I had forgotten her birthday. It had been fullmoon just three nights ago and the match was now on saturday. All those tests and extra work and then I helped a few younger students and had my own homework to do and I had two more classes than the rest of my friends. Did they not see, that I could not stand this pressure?

Guiltily I went down again but she was not in the bathroom anymore. There were more candles now around my half of the desk and there was a small plate with sandwiches. The fire had burned down, but now it was nice and warm and cosy. I sat down at the desk, filled the mug with hot team and swallowed two sandwiches nearly in one piece. I was famished. Sighting I started my homework, it was now 1AM and I felt a little useless. twenty hours since I had slept last time.

When I forced myself up the stairs again it was half past two. I would have to finish my own transfiguration homework in my lunch break and finish the history homework when everyone else was listening to Professor McGonagall. If she'd catch me I would just die right away so that this living hell was at an end... A moment I hesitated. There was a voice speaking in Lilys room.

Would she still be awake? Would she - she was crying. I felt so bad that moment the there were tears running down my cheeks unnoticed. "...if you do exist however-", she cried. "-I mean... If you are there somewhere and if you really can see us - please save him.", was she praying?

I knew Lily enough to know that she was not a very religious person so why would she be praying? "Please save him, I don't know what to do from here on.", she sobbed, so I knocked and opened the door.

Indeed she was kneeling in front of her bed with folded hands and crying. "Lily?"; I asked.

"What?", she snapped back. I sighted again. I had to sleep. Everything I did would make it worse. I was a bloody idiot, she had nailed it. "Have you been eavesdropping?"

"I have not, but I heard you.", I admitted after a second of consideration what to say. "I am so sorry."; I managed dejected after a long pause. "I am so off the last weeks, I am sorry, Darling.", but she did not respond. She just cried. "Lily?"

"I don't exactly want to be nagging, but... But I just don't know how to act anymore, you are just always so bugged off.", she howled now. "I am sorry, I didn't want to fight tonight, I just...", carefully I stroke her hair. "I just lost it when you entered the bathroom."

"Don't be sorry, Love, this is really my fault.", I muttered. The last six-a-half years I had not seen her like this. So fully destroyed. I had seen her crying, yes, but not that badly and very certainly not because of me!

"I want to say nice things to you, James, I really do! I want to comfort you, I want to have your back, I just don't know how to!", I nodded guiltily.

"There is not much I can do, except to say how sorry I am.", I said, before slipping down next to her and wrap my arms around her. "And I am, Lily. I am sorry. Baby, look at me.", I begged, so she obeyed. "I love you so much.", I said, hating myself for ruining it right now, after waiting so long for her!

Finally she gave in. She leaned her head against my shoulder and let me stroke her hair until she was all cried out. "I love you too, James."; she said quietly.

"I do not deserve your love.", I felt very much destroyed myself this moment. Never had I thought what it did to her when I had my workaholic attacks. Now I kissed her temple.

"Will you stay tonight?", she asked, her voice trembled. "Here, with me?"

"Do you really want me to stay?", I asked unsure. "Because I have been a bloody idiot. A complete moron. And I really do not deserve your forgiveness.", she now sighted.

"I know.", she said. "But I am a very compassionate and merciful person.", I had to chuckle a little. This was kind of a running gag between the two of us. "I really want you to stay here.", she said, before giving me a gentle kiss on my trembling lips.

"Right.", I managed. "Then I stay.", twenty two hours since I had gotten up. She sighed and stroke gently through my hair. We got into her bed. A nice feeling which I had missed very much. Her body fitted beautifully into mine. Damn, how could you love someone so very much? "You have been talking about me.", I suddenly realised.

"Let's not fight anymore tonight.", she pleaded.

"Just tell me, I won't fight anymore."; I hadn't even the strength left to fight with her again if I had had the wish to do so.

She sighed again. "Uh - well, yeah, the guys thought if you would listen to anyone, it would be me. I tried to tell them, that it was not the right time for me to criticize any little more, but they just wouldn't listen. You know them.", I nodded. Yes, I knew them and I would tell them, to leave my poor girlfriend alone! "Are you mad?"

"No."; I said at once. "I am only sorry for tonight and - uh - the last weeks."

"It's okay, James, I know how much work you have.", she promised and snuggled into my arms. I kissed her forehead, then her lips. My poor, poor girlfriend. "Hey, you waited four years for me, I will wait now until you have managed your work. I promise.", I heard muffled.

I pulled her even closer, if this was possible. "Let's stay in tomorrow.", I suggested. "Re-celebrate your bloody birthday.", she chuckled now.

"Sounds great.", came the answer.

"Darling, I really have to sleep now. We stay in tomorrow and then... Uh - then we talk, okay?", she nodded. Damn, I was so tired, I didn't even remember my last words, when I got up next morning.


End file.
